I want to tell you about Burtons. Burtons are a product for sale, but there’s a problem: there are different Burtons. Each Burton is unique, though some are similar to others. Different people like different Burtons. And there are hundreds of different Burtons. Some are for kids, others for adults. Also, to use Burtons, you need a Burton Device. There are different Burton Devices, and some Burtons work only with some, while others work with all of them.

So, as you might imagine, a big problem that people have is sorting out which Burton is for them, which would make a good gift for their brother’s birthday, and which ones are appropriate for their grandchildren. In order to do so, people read Burton magazines and check out Burton websites. Most of these sites and magazines review for a specific type of Burton, or perhaps only Burtons for a specific Burton Device. Others try to review as many different Burtons as possible. Burton-related media, however, does not sort out Burtons for free. They need to make money so that they can pay their editors and Burton-reviewing journalists, along with actually printing their magazines and keeping their websites on-line. (Also, if they can turn a profit, their shareholders and parent companies would be very happy indeed.) Unfortunately, in order to make that money they need two things: to have the latest information on their type of Burtons so that people buy the magazine or click on the site, and they also need to have advertising to help pay their costs.

Now, at some point, the editors of the Burton media eventually realized they would have to approach the Burton manufacturers in order to get the latest news. So they did, saying: “We would like exclusive previews of your upcoming Hot New Burtons, please.”

“Why should we?” replied the Burton manufacturers, who are naturally secretive of Burtons they’ve yet to release. “The community is already aware of them through our advertising and the internet’s word-of-mouth. Plus, you might say bad things about it, and that would put a taint on a product we haven’t even released yet.”

The Burton media editors thought about this for a second, and then responded: “Well…what if we promised not to say bad things? What if we only focused on the good aspects and, at worst, hinted vaguely or dismissively on the bad aspects? We can cover up any of those bad things by saying you’re working on fixing them before the Burton goes to market.”

The Burton manufacturers thought on this. They knew they would need some advance hype in order to generate enough sales. Finally, they countered: “Okay, but we need final approval on the article.”

The magazines and websites eagerly agreed. What did it matter if they fibbed a little bit? After all, the Hot New Burton had some redeeming features, right? It’s not a lie if any problems are ignored, omitted or downplayed. Also, these were previews, not the reviews themselves, where they would need to have actual journalistic standards.

Yet, the Burton manufacturers were also concerned about actual advertising in magazines and on websites. Here, the media was on a bit surer footing: “You need our advertising to make people aware of the Hot New Burton you plan to release in a few months.”

The Burton manufacturers nodded their heads, but with a sly smile responded: “True, but there are so many of you. People aren’t loyal to one Burton media outlet. And not one of your magazines or websites has a reputation for honest, factual reporting, so therefore, none of you are so trusted that people always turn to you. That means your advertising space is not so valuable. Now, what if you let us write your reviews for you…?”

“No!” cried the Burton editors. “We cannot let you do that! After all, we employ journalists.”

The Burton manufacturers pretended to think for a minute, before responding: “Well, maybe we’ll pay for the advertising, but the worse you review something, the further you must push it back into the magazine, or the less noticeable you must make it on your website.”

“What if it’s truly a terrible Burton? Uh, not that yours would be, of course…”

“A review system is common amongst everything that reviews anything. Make it out of one hundred percent, or out of ten using decimals. Stars if you’re lazy—but we must have half-stars if you do. If one of our games is bad, then perhaps give it a seven out of ten, or even a six out of ten if you truly must—though I warn you we will eye such reviews intently.”

The Burton media had a sudden flash of conscience (it wouldn’t last): “Seventy percent? That’s an okay grade in school, and can get you into some second-tier universities. Why should we give it to you for a Burton that truly stinks?”

“Because your paycheck relies on it.”

At this point, the Burton editors, seeing the truth of it, relented. They nodded in agreement, and shook hands with the Burton manufacturers, sealing the deal (and leaving no traceable paperwork). With this deal in place, their websites and magazines started getting more exclusives and advertising. And so, their revenue went up, and they started to break even, and even turn a slight profit.

Of course, to maintain the illusion of impartiality, they would try to keep some Burton reviewers from the Burton manufacturer’s parties and junkets; but the editors would attend. And, in the end, too many bad reviews of the bigger Burton manufacturers’ games would ensure a lack of exclusives and advertising. But, the money both the editors and reviewers started making softened the blow of their lack of journalistic ethics. It wasn’t much they made, but it was certainly an easy job once they got the hang of it. It wasn’t labor in a factory or some other job that might require physical effort or creativity.

Of course, some of the Burton media wouldn’t go along. They tried to be honest, and would give bad reviews, but they didn’t get free Burtons to review, nor did they get invites or passes to Burton expos or parties. Their lack of exclusives and advertising meant their magazines and websites would get less attention. Eventually, a lack of money forced some of them to close down, or to realize the necessity of going along with the Burton manufacturers in order to see a profit and do just that. Some hung on, but knew that they would eventually have to make a choice between the two options.

Meanwhile, the mainstream Burton media became more and more complacent with their arrangement. These Burton journalists and Burton editors sit around saying to themselves and each other: “Well, we gave that one Burton two months ago a bad review…three out of five stars! Ah, it’s good to be so honest with the public.”

The Monsignor

Episode 23 “The Microtransaction Debate” is now up for download. The download/stream of the podcast is at the bottom of this post.

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What ya Playin?

Feature:
The Microtransaction Debate

Review:
MotoGP ‘06 - A

Download This!
Prey
http://www.vgpro.com/file/18023_Prey_Demo.exe.html

 

 High Quality [47:25m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Well we have them up now but not to the public yet before we can get them finalized. The live one is already up and running but will not be online except during the set times the podcast is being broadcasted, we will have a secondary shoutcast server specifically for our ‘Aggravated Gamers Radio’ station which will go through a playlist of over 6000+ video game songs 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We will post the IPs for both when they are both completely finalized, the one for the live podcast will be up on the website tomorrow for sure but the radio one will take a couple days to be completely finalized. This was the real reason why the episode was postponed in the end since this came about. This is a big step for us and we hope you all will enjoy it with us in the future.

The MySQL server has been restarted and is now back up.

On first glance, this exam paper looks like a hoax intended to poke fun at the recent trend for video game degrees. However, if you dig a little deeper, you’ll find that it’s actually a genuine exam paper that students studying Computer Games Art or Computer Games Design at The University of Teesside have to take.

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An excellent article with screenshots from quite a few (oh so promising) Dreamcast games that never actually made it….

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A detailed tweak guide for the new Prey demo, and eventually for the full version when it’s released.

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As you’re all aware, there have been rumors of a price drop for the Xbox 360 coming along later this year. The official word from folks in the know is that there are currently no plans for a price drop this fall.

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Well, two posts under my belt, and all you might be able to figure about me is that I like to rant, and that I like run-on sentences, like this one. Now, I could give you some biographical information—where I was born, where I live, age, etc.—but they really wouldn’t tell you much about The Monsignor, now would they? So, instead, let me tell you five of my favourite videogames. Now, these may not be my Top Five Favourite; everyone should know that list changes, both with new releases and re-considering old ones. Well, enough introductory paragraphitization; on with the article.

System Shock 2

The first System Shock was good, but System Shock 2 was incredible. It was the first game I played that really sucked me in with good gameplay and an atmosphere so heavy and horrifying that you could taste it (tastes kinda like peop—er, chicken). It had elements that I loved from amany different games: action, an RPG system, twitch-reflex moments and a sense of style. Anyone who has spent hours with this game knows the visceral thrill of the opening cinematic: “L-l-l-look at you hacker…” The game did everything right: it made sure to balance all the aspects together, and to create a truly different game when you tried it in different styles. The Hacker had to play different from the Marine, who in turn had to play differently from the Psionic. And every problem had solutions, but not necessarily the same one each time you played. This game in the grandfather of F.E.A.R., Half-Life 2 and Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth, and those games show obvious signs that their creators had played one of the best FPS Horror games ever made.

Alpha Centauri

It was made as a sci-fi version of Civilization 2, if not even a direct sequel to that game. Alpha Centauri was, for those not familiar with the game, the story of humanity’s first colonization attempt on a distant planet, played in a Civ-esque, turn-based form, complete with Secret Projects (Wonders of the World), research trees and advances both for military units and for colony (city) improvements. Again, like System Shock 2, the game managed to pull off not only the purely technical aspects of the gameplay right, but also the sense of style. Who wouldn’t enjoy nerve-stapling the more unruly citizens? Also, unlike other turn-based games, the factions were distinctly different from each other and required a different style of play. The Human Hive’s best bet was to expand rapidly through colonies and ignoring the other factions; the Spartans, on the other hand, had to go into Conquer mode from the get-go or soon get crushed. I spent many months playing that game, and to this day, this morbid, black comedy science-fiction game still stands out as my favourite of the turn-based strategy genre.

Half-Life 2

Okay, okay. I know last week I criticized this game for being too short, and it still is. However, the short single-player experience is still something to behold. Up till Half-Life 2, many games had claimed to be an interactive movie experience, but HL2 was the first to deliver. From the opening sequence to the final ascension in the Citadel, this game kept the action coming and the atmosphere perfect. The rust, decay and general worn feeling of the various in-game settings made it feel like one of the most realistic shooters I’ve ever played. City 17 still to this day stands out as a memorable place in my mind. Also, the game has an exceedingly huge mod community, which means that it’s a game I won’t uninstall anytime soon. Still, Valve, that doesn’t excuse an excruciatingly short single-player game!

Star Control 2

A genre that has unfortunately died out, is the space exploration genre. The original Star Flight series was good, but it was Star Control 2 that was the apex. The game began with you piloting the helm of an ancient starship…well, at least a version of ancient starship that you just built. You find that Earth is under the control of the Ur-Quan, a race of unpleasant, large caterpillars; after gaining the trust of Earth’s starbase commander, you are off across the quadrant, exploring hundreds of stars and more hundreds of planets (not sure if it was in the “thousands” range). The game was easy to play, but hard to master; and unlike many games, it was quite possible to screw yourself over to a point where you had to restart. But restart you did, learning from your mistake and doing better. The game also had a sense of humour that was laced throughout every alien race, from your allies to your enemies. It took its situation seriously, but not itself. This game, like System Shock 2, can be found for free on the Internet (albeit under the title The Ur-Qaon Masters). And, like System Shock 2, this game still sits on my computer. And unlike System Shock 2, I’m able to run it. Damn dual-cores!

Baldur’s Gate 2

Long, involved, complex and with David Warner doing a voice to boot! This game was perhaps the apex of CRPG’s for me. That isn’t to say I don’t like the ones I’ve played since, but Baldur’s Gate 2 made me care for the characters. Though there was little randomness in the game, it was often replayable by taking on different characters into your party and watching the group dynamics unfold. Even replacing one of your six PC’s with another one was enough to make the game’s subplots change. Certain characters loved each other (and you), and others hated each other, sometimes creating the funniest moments in the game. Back that up with strong gameplay, fantastically detailed environments, and complex plots and sublots with interesting twists and endings, and you have perhaps the best hardcore Western RPG game made. Neverwinter Nights jerks itself off to sleep at night, dreaming of being as good as Baldur’s Gate 2 was at its worst.

Well, there you go; five of my favourite games. There are dozens others, but these were the ones I felt like writing about for now. Perhaps sometime in the future I will make more specific lists. Some great games got left off: Deus Ex, FarCry, the original Half-Life…but we’ll save those for another time. Now, what’s the one thing we all learned from this?

I like sequels, apparently.

The Monsignor

He complains about picking which console, the unconventional wii or the overpriced ps3.

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So why are you getting a ps3 again?
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We’ve known that it was for a while but now it has been confirmed.

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Originally created on the SEGA Genesis/Mega Drive, Sonic the Hedgehog forged a new path in videogames. The short blue hedgehog, adorned with white gloves and shoes, lined with spikes across his back, sported a blazing speed and a clear attitude shown off in his idling animations, breaking the fifth wall…

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As the market for virtual goods continues to grow, gaming companies will have to seriously consider the implications of how they approach issues like gold farming and the sale of in-game items.

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Xbox LIVE’s Major Nelson’s (Larry Hyrb) latest podcast on Sunday, June 18th had quite a bit of content… One of the guest’s was his good friend ‘Ross’ (no last name apparently), who works on the Xbox LIVE Arcade team. A big question on the podcast revolved around the status free texas hold ‘em poker game…

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The Mod has Open Positions… so if you think you have the skills required join them

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